so i wrote a personal artist's manifesto for class, and find myself here, posting it in the wee hours of the night. and even though i have no idea how to write one, or what the hell it even is, i will share it in the hopes that someone will find it and love me for me. or at least find it amusing:



I believe that good taste is the death of art.

If you look at a piece of art and say to yourself, “Wow, that’s pretty!” than it should be on a fuckin’ postcard. Haven’t we moved far, far beyond pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, and divine? I spit on those words if they’re describing art. If someone ever uses any of them to describe a photo I took, I’m taking that print, scratching it with a fork and butter knife, bathing it in turpentine and bleach, and hanging out to dry. There, NOW I’m done.

I believe that every room doesn’t need a door.

Find another damn way to get out dumb ass, even if you have to claw your way through concrete and limestone.

I believe that kaleidoscopes make art eight times more interesting.

And if you don’t like someone’s art, look at it through one, spin it, and maybe you’ll get so dizzy that you may experience a high like that of LSD and it‘ll all be better. Either that or you may end up puking on it. Hey, if it’s pretty, two birds with one stone!

I believe art shouldn’t have a price.

But don’t tell anyone, or else we will be starving and homeless or working as an accountant forever.

I believe that appropriation is not a crime.

Would you care if I took a twenty dollar bill from you, dyed it with India ink, burned the edges, and glued it to a two-by-four? No, right? Well maybe you’d care, but I mean you still can’t use it anymore.

I believe that success is not measured by how many friends or profile views your myspace has.

One word: WYLAND.

I believe that colorblindness isn’t really bliss.

If it were, than Pollock would be out of a job, women would still be wearing shoulder pads, and we wouldn’t have to change the name to the black house.

I believe that graphic design is like gravity.

Without photoshop guides, where would we put the letters? They’d just be floating all over the place like crazy talk! And the words balance, negative space, and Helvetica would just be simply meaningless! Whatever would we do?! DAMN YOU GRAVITY!

I believe artists could remake the world.

Not in a twisted, manipulatory sort of way. But more of a let’s save the manatees, spray paint the Eiffel tower sea foam green, and look fierce doing it, kind of way.





And finally…

I believe that everyone is not ugly.

Because if everyone were ugly, than no one would be.